Sunday, November 4, 2007

Fresh Air

The breeze whispers children's giggles into my ear
Strokes my hair and kisses my face.
With deep gaze into each others eyes,
We understand each other without a word.
You're an angel from afar.
The sun outlines your figure with a glistening glow.
It shines on your hair giving you dark golden highlights.
You take off your coat and roll up your sleeves.
You are getting warm.
When I'm in the swing, the pressure of your hand on my back
feels so nice and the bustling of bees in the bushes and the chirping of birds become so loud
and I just want to hold onto this moment for forever.
But alas, the day comes to an end.
I breathe in the crisp ambiance of the happy day.
This leaves me with a tingling feeling with my whole being.
Fresh air renewed my soul.


Buddy said...

The more I look at this I feel a tendency to lean towards Dr. Robbins side and I really don't know why. Maybe its a couple lines like,

"We understand each other without a word." and maybe "you take off your coat and roll up your sleeves. you are getting warm."

It just reminds me of like when i walk past my mother and she knows everything i'm thinking or seeing my dad fumbling along getting hot and sweaty but i didn't care cause i was at the playground and he wasn't goin to slow me down. I dunno what it is. I do however like a lot that it can be taken most ways but for me i just can't get that bow chicka bow wow feeling.

Jillian said...

"This leaves me with a tingling feeling with my whole being."

Something about that line is really nice. I think it's all the "ing" assonance with tingling and feeling and being... And the way "being" encompasses both tingling and feeling. Does that make sense?

Ian said...

seeing it printed just reinforces my initial reaction

HOWEVER....both interpretations are completely valid (happy doc rob?) and as Buddy said, this duality makes the poem rather extraordinary